How I got here.
Picture it. The 1990’s, New Jersey. (Channeling Sophia Petrillo!) There I am, a teen going thru the roils of adolescence and working hard to develop an identity separate from my family. I would hurry to get my homework done and then get on the phone to my friends. We would chat for hours and I would lay down under my desk, phone tucked under my chin. I so enjoyed listening to the struggles, problems and frustrations, eager to help with an insight or a suggestion. Time passed, and as the process began to apply for college, I was accepted into an expedited program, where I would earn a BA and a MD in 6 years. I wasn’t sure about whether or not this was the path I wanted to pursue, but my Chinese parents were delighted by my acceptance into this competitive program and finally let me take the car out when I wanted! So I enrolled.
Cut to a few years later, I realized this was NOT for me! I wasn’t excelling because I wasn’t interested in molecules and chemical bonds (shaking my fist at the memory of Organic Chemistry class). This was not where my interests and passions lay. I wanted to help people with their problems and struggles in a very different way. So I quickly changed to study psychology, despite my parents’ dismay.
After earning my doctorate, I worked for a non-profit agency in Southern California that specialized in working with kids, teens, and their families. I quickly rose the ranks from therapist, to supervisor, to director. While this climbing of the ladder took me away from clinical work, the administrative tasks were appealing to me since I could “tick boxes off” and use my organizational skills to support the therapists. It also tested and grew my confidence in being a leader and motivator.
After 13 years at the agency, I left Los Angeles and moved to Las Vegas. I decided that I wanted to work for myself and return to the work that I went to school for: working directly with individuals to foster healing, grow resilience and confidence. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve the community while also learning more about myself, life and humanity.
What’s it like to be in therapy with me?
I am reminded often that we are all constantly in a state of learning and change (willingly or not), and that compassion for ourselves is sadly often in short supply. I see my role as a therapist as a guide, creating space, time, and gentle nudges for people to come to their own realizations and insights, so that they can better understand their patterns, strengths, limits. I’ve been described as and aspire to be warm, kind, practical, steady, intelligent, intuitive, sensitive, dedicated. I know shitty things happen to us all in various forms. It sucks. But people can overcome a great deal: from the nagging internal voices of self-doubt to immense amounts of pain and distress, and anything in between. Everything you need for healing is within you! I am there to help you tap into your own healing. The strongest realizations and sustainable growth come from within.
Finding the right fit
Here’s the truth: not every therapist is right for every person. It’s important that both the therapist and the client feel comfortable and safe in the working relationship. My clinical interests are largely born from my own life experiences: being the child of immigrants, experiencing the hardships of acculturation, being a woman, being a woman of color, wanting a life of meaning and purpose, having significant and multiple life transitions, worrying about being good enough or accepted, feeling different, overextending myself for the benefit of a loved one.
My entire view of therapy can be summed up with this: ”A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not in the branch, but in its own wings.” So many things can come along and damage our wings or our belief in our own ability to maneuver in difficult times. Therapy is not about helping you build your perfect life; in my view, it is about helping you build resilience and confidence that you can navigate thru life adaptively. Often the past stays with us, clouds our judgment, impairs our perspective to the point that we begin to question ourselves or feel immobilized; we feel stuck in the past and respond as though the circumstances are the same. The work of therapy is to get the past in the past: where it belongs!
I am an EMDR certified therapist and PSYPACT-certified, which allows me practice in the following states: AL, AZ, AR, CO, CNMI, CT, DE, DC, FL, GA, ID, IL, IN, KS, KY, ME, MD, MI, MN, MO, NE, NV, NH, NJ, NC, ND, OH, OK, PA, RI, SC, TN, TX, UT, VA, WA, WV, WI, and WY.
Vicky Huangfu, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist
